Since no one is perfect, you might wonder what it is that made God choose Mary to train up baby Jesus. What did He look at when he chose David from the 7 sons of Jesse. What made God pick the different people like Daniel and Joseph to share the richest secrets of heaven with.  God says He looks on the heart. He knows all the secrets and He knows what we think about. Man looks on the outward appearance. Man picks the tall, best looking, dignified, elegant and those that are popular. What is God looking at? Does He give any clues?

In the work of setting things in order in all the churches, and ordaining suitable men to act as officers, the apostles held to the high standards of leadership outlined in the Old Testament Scriptures. They maintained that he who is called to stand in a position of leading responsibility in the church "must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; but a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers." Titus 1:7-9. {AA 95.2}

Here is a great big clue:

OBEDIENCE
He who enters Christ's army must obey His orders. He has placed himself under the Saviour's leadership, and he is to give Him willing obedience. He is to speak no word, perform no act, that would misrepresent the high and holy principles by which the kingdom of heaven is to be governed. 
-
{ST, August 30, 1905 par. 7}

If you do not obey all the light God has given you, He does not share more light for you to disobey. He needs soldiers that are obedient and listening for His marching orders. You can be this soldier if your are child, teen, woman or man.

All the directions God has given are to bring the most happiness to people. If you pick and choose what you want to obey, God is not pleased with you. You cannot be a good soldier.

God has given directions on diet so that we will be more healthy and it will be easier obey. Adam and Eve fell on this point and had to leave the garden.

God has given directions on how to keep the 7th day Sabbath, starting from a half hour before sunset, welcoming Him with song and spending the day studying His ways in nature, Bible and in prayer. He has asked that the day be carefully guarded from activities of business and worldly matters and play. He asks that we help suffering ones, and rest on His sacred day. When a half hour past the sunset hour is over, we are again to sing to Him and read His Word and pray. 

God has given directions for careful use of time every day looking for ways to share the gospel, caring for our families and helping others. Our time belongs to God. He watches how we use it. We are not to use our time in playing games of killing and building castles and waste the precious hours where we could be memorizing the Bible or helping others.

There are women who obey their husband because they have been taught to do this. Some husbands force the wife to stay home from church, from mission trips, from giving food to the poor, orphans, or to missionaries. Some husbands refuse to return tithe. They think they deserve all the money they earn and it should be used only for themselves. These are often men held in high regard in their church as very godly people. God sees not as man sees. The Lord looks on the heart. I have seen people who wanted to give to missions and their husband flies into a rage and she becomes afraid for her life. Even when the money is from her own earnings or an inheritance from a relative of hers, there are wild rages. It is Satan's studied plan to tie up the funds so missionaries cannot spread the gospel. As soon as the gospel reaches all the world, Jesus will come and Satan will burn in the fire. Satan wants to stop the spread of gospel so he tries all he can to prevent money from reaching the hands of willing missionaries.

Mathew10:36 And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household. 
10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 
10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 
10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 
10:40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. 
10:41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. 
10:42 And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold [water] only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. 

Often the wife serves daily keeping the children clothed, fed, nurtured and he refuses her even a little money for her needs fearing she might give it to Jesus. Many wives have had to get jobs just to take care of their basic needs and that of their children. In the Bible story of David asking for food from Nabal and being refused, God makes a point of this cruelty by ending the life of selfish Nabal.  If Nabal had known that his wife Abigail was giving food to David he would have abused her harshly. She did her work in secret and in a great hurry. She asked David to forgive her husband's selfishness. She acted as Jesus would. God knows it all and sees everything. God took the life of selfish Nabal because there was no more hope of him ever acting in love. He gave honor to Abigail for how she put up with her husband's cruelty to her. (See story of Abigail in the section on  Bible forgiveness)

God says women and men are first responsible to the King of the Universe. He has created us and He  deserves our obedience and honor. If the husband  is  into pornography, secret sins,  gambling, drinking, and breaking the Sabbath she does not have to obey him or tell him all that God has asked her to do in mission work. God will provide the money for her to do this work. God will be her husband. The Bible says she can continue to shower husband with actions of love to win him for Jesus. The Bible has a promise that she might be able to win him if she does not give up. Abigail did not give up she just kept doing kind and loving things. Yet her husband refused God's love.

 If the husband is daily consecrating himself, studies the Bible daily, prays with his wife and shares Bible promises with her God can speak to her through him. If he  seeks to bring all his children to the cross,  and gently honors and cherishes his wife, helping her in home duties and in making life pleasant for her, then God expects her to submit to his wishes. But if the husband is doing wickedly his voice can not be as God's voice to her.

As a doctor I have heard the most cruel and inhumane stories from the lips of my patients suffering from the wickedness of men who pretend to be righteous and even hold positions in the church. I have locked these in confidentiality into my heart. God has seen it all. Women do not have to obey such men. There is no unity between those who love and obey God and one who pretends to love and obey God but is into pornography, games, gambling, killing with lying tongues,  drinking and rebellion. Their hatred is really against God, though they treat the God fearing wife with cruelty. Her example is a constant reminder to him that he is wrong. His rage is not about her sweet kind love but anger against God for he is rebelling inwardly.

"But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term. . . . {AH 117.1}
Husbands should study the pattern and seek to know what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, the relation Christ sustains to the church. The husband is to be as a Savior in his family. Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure, sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in his home, as he will assert his claims to authority? {AH 117.2}
Let every husband and father study to understand the words of Christ, not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon the subjection of the wife to her husband, but in the light of the cross of Calvary, study as to his own position in the family circle. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word." Jesus gave Himself up to die upon the cross in order that He might cleanse and keep us from all sin and pollution by the influence of the Holy Spirit. {AH 117.3} Adventist Home by Ellen White

Kind Hearts, 

Cool Heads,

 and Sound, Unbiased Judgment 

Strong Convictions

Clear Understanding

Sympathetic

Strive to uplift and restore fallen humanity


At this time God's cause is in need of men and women who possess rare qualifications and good administrative powers; men and women who will make patient, thorough investigation of the needs of the work in various fields; those who have a large capacity for work; those who possess warm, kind hearts, cool heads, sound sense, and unbiased judgment; those who are sanctified by the Spirit of God and can fearlessly say, No, or Yea and Amen, to propositions; those who have strong convictions, clear understanding, and pure, sympathetic hearts; those who practice the words "All ye are brethren"; those who strive to uplift and restore fallen humanity.--Testimonies, Volume 7, p. 249. {9MR 145.1}
Leaders Should Have a Living Connection With God 
The converting power of truth needs to take hold upon human minds. Men who have been placed in positions of responsibility need to be worked by the Holy Spirit. But while self swells to large proportions, the Holy Spirit can make no impression upon human minds and hearts. . . . {9MR 145.2}
The leaders in our work should be men in such a living connection with God that they can understand His will, and preserve their integrity. The eternal principles of truth are to govern the households of those who have a part to act in the working out of the Lord's plans. In their families the study of the Bible should be given prominence, and its teachings should exert a decided influence. {9MR 145.3}
There is no position in life, no phase of human experience, that should not be influenced by the principles of the Word of God. It is to be studied and obeyed, in order to give to men in positions of trust a preparation to mold the work in right lines.--Letter 48, 1910, pp. 1-2. {9MR 145.4}
Amenable to Counsel 
Link up with your brethren, if you would have them link up with you, and give you their confidence. Confidence and faith will beget confidence and faith. You should gather into your confidence not only your ministering brethren but those with whom you are brought in contact, and show them that you have confidence, and that you believe that they are taught of God as much as you yourself are taught of God. Open your plans before them. One will be free to speak, and another will be free to speak, and they may call your attention to some things that you had not thought of before. {9MR 145.5}
God does not open everything to one mind, but he teaches one, and another, and still another. Men are to stand in God, and without having the fear of criticism constantly before them, they are to speak as God shall give them utterance, and to write as God shall dictate. After they have written their thoughts, let them be free to read their articles to their brethren, and let them receive any kindly word or caution that the brethren may see fit to offer in the spirit of brotherly kindness and love.--Letter 53, 1894, p. 8. {9MR 146.1}
Recognize Attributes of Laymen 
There is danger that ministers, that presidents of conferences, will take too much upon themselves and manifest too little confidence in the people. The people should be educated in such a way that they will search the Scriptures for themselves. The Holy Spirit is to work to mold every man after the similitude of Christ. Men have made a great mistake in not considering that God works through His church. Ministers should give ample encouragement to the individual members of the church and to those whom God shall select to do a special work in maturing thoughtful plans for the saving of the souls of those who are in error. {9MR 146.2}
Then there would be no contention, no one striving for the mastery, or seeking to secure the highest places. The Holy Spirit has much to teach the church when it becomes attentive to the voice of divine truth. The Lord would have the teachers of the church lead the people upward, and in no case give the impression that the people have no need to fulfill their individual responsibilities. {9MR 146.3}
If they will walk humbly with God, the Holy Spirit will teach them divine truth, and enable them to present the word with power. The apostle says, "We are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building" (1 Corinthians 4:9).--Manuscript 1, 1895, p. 20. {9MR 146.4}

Then you are following the example of Jesus.

Are you picking at and trying to find fault with those you lead? Are you seeking their honor? Are you telling lies about those you are leading and never looking carefully for what is truth, just believing what you hear about those you lead? Do you visit them and think of them as more valuable and honored than yourself no matter what their home and status of wealth or poverty might be? If you are a true leader for God and a true under shepherd you will agonize for those who need to be saved, encouraged, or sympathized with. Jesus knew how to agonize for his disciples, and all He created. You will forget your reputation and be friends of those broken and rejected in society, as well as the pious who are empty inside.

The Agonizing of Christ in Prayer

BIBLE GEM

"And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly:  and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground."  Luke 22:44

"And being in an agony [of mind] He prayed [the] more earnestly and intently."  Amplified New Testament.

"While He---an agony of distress having come upon Him---prayed all the more with intense earnestness."  Weymouth.

QUESTION

Why did Christ agonize in prayer?

ANSWER

Christ reveals to angels His coming agony:  "He then made known to the angelic host that a way of escape had been made for lost man. . . . [He told them] that He would suffer dreadful hours of agony, which even angels could not look upon, but would veil their faces from the sight.  Not merely agony of body would He suffer, but mental agony, that with which bodily suffering could in no wise be compared.  The weight of the sins of the whole world would be upon Him."---Early Writings, pages 149,150

Christ's earthly suffering in the wilderness:  "When Jesus entered the wilderness, He was shut in by the Father's glory. . . . But the glory departed, and He was left to battle with temptation.  It was pressing upon Him every moment.  His human nature shrank from the conflict that awaited Him.  For forty days He fasted and prayed.  Weak and emaciated from hunger, worn and haggard with mental agony, 'His visage was so marred more than any man, and His form more than the sons of men.' "---The Desire of Ages, page 118

His suffering in Gethsemane:  "Behold Him contemplating the price to be paid for the human soul.  In His agony He clings to the cold ground, as if to prevent Himself from being drawn farther from God."---Ibid., p. 687

"Now had come the hour of the power of darkness.  Now His voice was heard on the still evening air, not in tones of triumph, but full of human anguish.

"The humanity of the Son of God trembled in that trying hour. . . . The awful moment had come---that moment which was to decide the destiny of the world."---Ibid., p. 690

The ultimate of agony at the cross:  "But now with the terrible weight of guilt He bears, He cannot see the Father's reconciling face.  The withdrawal of the divine countenance from the Saviour in this hour of supreme anguish pierced His heart with a  sorrow that can never be fully understood by man.  So great was this agony that His physical pain was hardly felt."---Ibid., p. 753

The Christian is to pray with great earnestness and sincerity:  "Be in earnest, be sincere.  Fervent prayer availeth much.  Jacob-like, wrestle in prayer.  Agonize.  Jesus, in the garden, sweat great drops of blood; you must make an effort."---Testimonies, vol. 1, p. 158

Agonizing without the surrender of self is useless:  "There are many souls who wrestle for special victories and special blessings that they may do some great thing.  To this end they are always feeling the they must make an agonizing struggle in prayer and tears. . . . All the agonizing, all the tears and struggles, will not bring them the blessings they long for.  Self must be entirely surrendered."---Ibid., vol. 9, p. 165 

PRAYER THOUGHT

Abigail
1 Samuel 25
ABIGAIL WAS THE BEAUTIFUL, KIND, AND INTELLIGENT WIFE OF NABAL, A MEAN AND VIOLENT-TEMPERED MAN. BY HER WISE COURSE SHE WAS ABLE TO AVOID MUCH BLOODSHED WHEN HER HUSBAND TREATED DAVID AND HIS MEN WITH CONTEMPT.{DG 41.4}
When David was a fugitive from the face of Saul, he had camped near the possessions of Nabal and had protected the flocks and the shepherds of this man. . . . In a time of need, David sent messengers to Nabal with a courteous message, asking for food for himself and his men, and Nabal answered with insolence, returning evil for good, and refusing to share his abundance with his neighbors. No message could have been more respectful than that which David sent to this man, but Nabal accused David and his men falsely in order to justify himself in his selfishness, and represented David and his followers as runaway slaves. When the messenger returned with this insolent taunt, David's indignation was aroused, and he determined to have speedy revenge.--21MR 213 (1891). {DG 42.1}
One of Nabal's servants hastened to Abigail, the wife of Nabal, after he had dismissed David's young men, and told her what had happened. "Behold," he said, "David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them. But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields. They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household."{DG 42.2}
Without consulting her husband or telling him of her intention, Abigail made up an ample supply of provisions, which, laded upon asses, she sent forward in the charge of servants, and herself started out to meet the band of David. She met them in a covert of a hill. "And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience." Abigail addressed David with as much reverence as though speaking to a crowned monarch. Nabal had scornfully exclaimed, "Who is David?" but Abigail called him, "my lord." With kind words she sought to soothe his irritated feelings, and she pleaded with him in behalf of her husband. With nothing
43
of ostentation or pride, but full of the wisdom and love of God, Abigail revealed the strength of her devotion to her household; and she made it plain to David that the unkind course of her husband was in no wise premeditated against him as a personal affront, but was simply the outburst of an unhappy and selfish nature.{DG 42.3}
"Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal." Abigail did not take to herself the credit of this reasoning to turn David from his hasty purpose, but gave to God the honor and the praise. She then offered her rich provision as a peace offering to the men of David, and still pleaded as if she herself were the one who had so excited the resentment of the chief.--PP 665, 666 (1890).{DG 43.1}
Although Nabal had refused the needy company of David and his men, yet that very night he made an extravagant feast for himself and his riotous friends, and indulged in eating and drinking till he sunk in drunken stupor. The next day after the effects of his drunken debauch had somewhat passed away, his wife told him of how near he had been to death, and of how the calamity had been averted. As he listened, he realized what a course of evil would have resulted but for Abigail's discretion, and terror filled his heart. Palsied with horror, he sat down and never recovered from the shock.{DG 43.2}
From this history, we can see that there are circumstances under which it is proper for a woman to act promptly and independently, moving with decision in the way she knows to be the way of the Lord. The wife is to stand by the side of the husband as his equal, sharing all the responsibilities of life, rendering due respect to him who has selected her for his lifelong companion.--21MR 214, 215 (1891).{DG 43.3}
The Lord would have the wife render respect unto her husband, but always as it is fit in the Lord. In the character of Abigail, the wife of Nabal, we have an illustration of womanhood after the order of Christ, while her husband illustrates what a man may become who yields himself to the control of Satan.--21MR 213 (1891).{DG 43.4}